After chatting with her, we sat down at "our table." We hadn't been sitting for too long before the waitress with whom we've established a relationship brought us glasses of water.
Now, throughout the evening, a few of the girls came and chatted for awhile, but it was a slow night. I've chosen to share a different aspect of this particular visit with you:
A few minutes after we walked in a big burly guy came right over and sat down with us.
His rapid-fire questions came out like a machine gun: "I just like to debate, and I think what you're doing is really great but I just gotta know why you're really here? Why are you doing this? Are you really from a church? Do you look down on the girls for what they do? What do you think of me as a 'happily married man with a beautiful wife and beautiful children' for being in a 'place like this'?"
He didn't seem to want answers right away, nor did he seem all that interested in our answers, because he then went on to give hypothetical examples of what I can assume he believes are "gray areas" of right and wrong (eg: "This has never happened, but if someone ever hurt my kids, I'd go after them. Don't you think you'd do the same thing? Would you think I was a bad person if I did that?")
Possessing a particular dislike of debate, I thought I'd just listen and let Laurel and Bonnie take this one...
And then 30 seconds later one of the girls came over to say hi & chat. So Laurel & Bonnie let the man know that, while they would love to resume the conversation with him, they were going to chat with her for a little while. He responded to them, "You don't want to talk with me at the same time as her?"
So he turned to me.
Apparently he didn't get the memo.
His barrage continued with all of his questions containing at their core, "Do you judge me?" He even showed a couple of tattoos on his forearms and asked if I thought he was a bad person for having tattoos.
"No, I don't think having tattoos makes you a bad person - my husband has tattoos on both his arms.
My husband was also in the military.
And in war.
As for your question about whether I'd go after someone for hurting my child, I'd sure want to! However, I believe that is not to be my response - I believe that I am to work really hard to forgive, no matter how stinkin' hard it is."
"Come on! You're telling me you wouldn't go after a guy for hurting your kid? Ok, you said you don't have kids: How about if some guy hurt your sister? What would your dad do?"
"Well, again: I know what he'd want to do - and you better know that he'd want to go after anyone who hurt me or my sister. But I know my father. And I can tell you without a doubt that my father would work - really hard - to forgive. Because that's what he believes God wants him to do. Don't get me wrong, it would not be easy, and he'd sure be tempted to hurt anyone who hurt us, but I know my dad."
Now, although he was big, he wasn't threatening. But he definitely seemed to be seeking for something. I kept praying, "Lord, what do you want me to say?" Then, his eyes started to get watery and he finally settled in on his real question:
"IF God exists, why is he allowing my child to be battling cancer?"
This was not hypothetical.
I'd love to be able to write that I had a brilliant answer for this man. I didn't. But I know that no matter what I said, it wouldn't have mattered to this man, because he's angry. He's hurt. I don't know this man's name. I don't know why he's going to strip clubs. I don't know why his son has cancer. I don't know what has given this man such anger, or more importantly, hurt, but I do know that he is broken.
And that he had tears in his eyes.
This man needs arms wrapped around him; he needs Godly men to bolster him and say, "You are a big man, you are strong, you are capable of many things. But your arms are tethered: you are powerless in this situation. Let us bear the burden with you and share with you the truth about the God of the universe and our warrior-king, Jesus Christ. Surrender your child, your sexual addiction, your anger over to Him - He will not turn his back on you."
Please pray for this man - this broken man - and his son. Perhaps the Father will listen to the prayers of his children on the behalf of this man who admitted to believing the OT, but not the NT because, "it just doesn't make any sense."
